


Spare a Thought for the Moon?

by oceankat8



Category: Moon Knight (Comics)
Genre: Dissociative Identity Disorder, F/M, Gen, Overthinking, khonshu (mentioned) - Freeform, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 04:09:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21332062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceankat8/pseuds/oceankat8
Summary: Marc doesn't feel guilty about ignoring the Moon, he just has to convince himself that's true.
Relationships: Marlene Alraune/Marc Spector
Kudos: 9





	Spare a Thought for the Moon?

Marc looked up at the Moon, discomfort gnawing at the pit of his stomach. He ignored it.

He ignored it a lot lately.

So he tore his gaze away, keeping to the shadows and hiding from the light of the moon. The weight of its judgement just another thing to ignore. He was good at that by now, it didn’t matter that it got harder and harder to do each night, he had experience.

It wasn’t guilt. Whatever the unnamed, unknown emotion that was crawling around inside of him and eating him from within was, it damn well couldn’t be guilt.

He didn’t feel guilty for not killing people. Most people didn’t toss and turn in their sheets at night wondering what could have happened if they hadn’t stayed their hand, kept themselves in control. Didn’t wonder if mercy was the mistake, most people didn’t have trouble not hurting people.

Frank could understand, but his war was practical. Keep the bad guys down so that they don’t get back up. Marc had never needed that sense of permanency, not when he himself kept getting back up. He just needed their blood.

Khonshu needed their blood.

The Moon held itself high, hanging in every window, every reflection, in the pools of water beneath Marc’s feet.

When he had first put on the cape, it was a step in a different direction. A better direction, from mercenary to hero, defending travelers at night with his second chance at life. His early days as Moon Knight weren’t some dark ritual where he sacrificed people to Khonshu in the name of vengeance. He hadn’t killed anyone on purpose, not really… Then again, did it truly matter so long as his god received the blood he was due.

No. It had to matter. Intentions Matter. They have to, or nothing has changed. After all, he was still Moon Knight, he was still crazy- legally insane, he still spends his time protecting travelers in the night.

Except now he ignores the Moon.

And it churns his stomach.

"You're staring at the moon again" a voice interrupted his thoughts. 

Steven sighed, pulling his gaze away and allowing it to settle on Marlene instead. He met her eyes.

"I'm always staring at the moon"

This time it was her turn to sigh, she closed the blinds and started to pull him back, leading him to the bed. Her hand was warm and easy to focus on, a weight helping to keep him grounded in the reality she offered. 

"You don't have to you know" Steven just laughed, leaning into her. He loved her so much, wanted so much for them. Marc let go of her and stood at the edge of the bed as she settled into the pillows. 

"I tried looking away"

Marlene shifted around in the bed, making room before pulling him towards her, close, and wrapping her arms around him. But she didn't say anything out loud. Just let him speak.

"The only thing that changes any more is my sense of self. My grasp on reality, to keep it together"

"You can't continue to define yourself solely by the moon" Her voice was soft, whispered intimately to him as he leaned back into her embrace. Her hand cupped his cheek and moved his face towards her, her eye trying to meet his.

He looked away. The curtains were pulled back from the window and Marc one more found his gaze arrested.

"Who am I without the Moon?" 

**Author's Note:**

> I was really bored in class and wanted to write a small drabble about Marc's relationship with Khonshu during one of his off moments. IDK, I've been reading the comics, but I'm still in the 1990's so it probably isn't super accurate to the more modern comics but I had fun and that's what this is about so eh. I also added the bit with Marlene because I do really love her so very much, and it works as a foil to his Khonshu obsession. The amount of time between the two is up to you tbh.


End file.
